How the Violin Saved Me

Learning violin, without a teacher, has been one of the greatest things for me. It is not that I wouldn't want a teacher, for if I did have one, I would actually be good at playing, rather it is that it was the only thing that I did which didn't cause me to greatly seek the praise of men.

^ That's not me by the way. ^

I received my violin during a bluegrass hoedown. The person whom I received it from would give violins away for free to kids interested in playing. Sadly, I left it sit in the closet for about a year, not playing it until I was 13. So, I tried learning it by playing Ode to Joy, which is silly, because you always start with the scales.
Then due to moving and various crazes like that, it left my interest.



But something inside of me still wanted me to learn.



 Keep in mind. I didn't pray much (except around the time when I got Confirmed)  just grace before meals, the occasional Hail Mary or Our Father. Never the Rosary, and I wouldn't even dare spend an hour at Adoration. I believed in the Eucharist being truly Jesus, but I didn't care to watch Him for an hour. Nor silently wait for Him to speak to me for even a moment.

However, after six months of playing violin, I got pretty good at it.
Around the same time, though, I was becoming lost from the path to Heaven. And, without even considering prayer, I was beaten and weak. Even if I was sorry for whatever the things I had done, I wouldn't say it to God. I hated it that my father wanted start praying the Divine Office, instead of watching TV! Such and beyond such was my wickedness.
Yet, for that one hour every evening, all alone, I directed my practicing to God. (Why, I don't know, it was God's doing) Every song (most especially one though) was filled with repentance and love for God. It was not my doing, but God's, that I played my violin for Him. It was the only time that I forgot my worldliness, and thought only of God. It was the only time that I was truly sorry and repulsed by myself! It, as a prayer, was my pillar through my sins. Turning me to eventually, fully turn to God.

With that said, I truly believe I am where I am now, because of prayer through music, through my violin. Sometimes, still today, the only way I can focus on God, is by playing my violin. Even if I never got really good at it, I wish to always give it to Jesus.

I know that this post is short, but I felt it necessary to post! Thank you for spending the time to read, and God bless!

"Now thank we all our God, with heart, and hands, and voices.
Who wondrous things hath done, in whom His world rejoices.
Who from our mother's arms, hath blessed us on our way.
With countless gifts of love, and still is ours today!"

Prayer/poem for Adoration

 O joy, anger and sorrow. 
These emotions come and go. 
But if I be with Thee, Thy peace shall remain.
 Though all should look at me with disdain, Thy peace shall remain.
 Yet nothing compares to the peace that is there. 
And nothing can explain, the God-Head hidden, beneath a veil of bread and wine.
 All grand and full of love, yet so sublime. 
This love I cannot grasp. 
So hidden, yet so real.
 As I look upon Thy Monstrance, and Thee, under Thy mask.
 No matter what emotions I may feel. 
I know that This is real. 
That Thou art present here. 
Of Thee I will always fear. 
Thy Church's teachings confirm this fact. 
And from it, I pray, I shall not turn my back. 
Oh Lord, banish from me, disdain of Thee.
 Open my eyes, so I may always see. 
Thy Body, in this Monstrance.
 What joy it would be, for me, to forever have the chance To gaze on Thee, in Thy Monstrance. 
Oh Lord, I fall on my knees, when I see Thee.
 Spouse of my soul, my God and my All! 
Yes, when I see Thy Body, upon my knees I must fall. 
For I know, yes I know. 
Thou art here, till the end of time, Thou will be.
 Thy Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity! 
No other churches know this Lord.
 But in Thy one true Church, It is all adored.
 Compassion I beg of Thee, for on them I must have pity. 
 For they know not, that they have abhorred. 
The closest relationship in the world. 
With Thee, my God, and my Lord. 
Yes, Thou art here my God. Till the end of time Thou shall be. 
Thy Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. 
Call me nigh, to Thee Most High. 
In Thy Monstrance Lord, all hailed and adored. 
What Gift Thou hast given me! 
Thee I shall praise, forevermore, upon my bended knee!

 Amen!